A Lesson in Ambiguity with my #sistasista

Sisters share a lot of things, but there probably aren't many sisters who share as much as me and my sister Sarah do. Not only are we sisters, but we are best friends, we live together (only temporarily - she is remodeling), we share friends, and we also work together. Sarah works in sales and I work in marketing for SAP.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that Sarah was also accepted to SAP's Social Sabbatical program?! She will depart the week before me and spend the month in Porto Alegre, Brazil. Follow Sarah's adventures here.

(Me & Sarah on Lake Michigan this Summer)

Therefore, in preparation of our respective adventures, we have been interviewing and speaking to as many people as possible together, as it relates to our sabbaticals and life abroad. Although Sarah and I have both lived abroad before, neither of us have experienced a trip quite like this one. The advice we've been receiving has been SO GOOD and applies to so much more than our trips, I thought it was really important to share the wealth. So in no particular order, here goes...

On working with & understanding new cultures:

• Use this adventure as an opportunity to increase your cultural awareness.
• Be excited about their pride in their country/city. Do some study about the history of Brazil and/or South Africa.
• Be understanding of others. Willingly adjust to their culture. Be open-minded.  Consider that you are there to learn. Although you have a project, it is just a means to an end. 
• Recognize the intelligence of people in all cultures and positions.  Americans are action / goal oriented.  Don’t press too hard on the projects.  They are only part of the reason that you are there.
• Eastern and Western communication styles are very different. You are likely to encounter more Indirect Communication styles that are very relationship focused. Use more fluff and don't be so direct.
• Building relationships before getting your work done will help you to be more successful. Care enough to learn about team members and vise versa.
• Adapt to their style. Don't make your style theirs. 
• Learn as much as you can about the local language/culture. Learn the pleasantries before you go… please, thank you, hello, goodbye, etc.  Verbal gratefulness is worth more than tips. Make an effort to learn the same information about the cultures represented in your global team on site. You will be convening from around the world.  
• Do round Robbins - everyone should have a voice. Everyone should get to speak and no one should dominate the conversation. We are especially guilty of this in North America - Do not cut in!
• Be kind and appreciate everyone's viewpoint.
• Certain cultures will never tell you they don't understand. Check for understanding on a regular basis. Ask for clarification at the end of the day. Is the team in line? Is the NGO in line?

On Working Abroad:

• This will be a lesson on dealing with ambiguity. Work on your learning agility and flexibility. Just go with the flow.
• Be punctual, and then be willing to cheerfully wait on others. I know that the sense of timing below the equator is different than in the USA. Nothing will run to your plans. But, so what.
• Think before you speak. Be considerate of others on your team, even when they begin to annoy you.
• Realize that: "This is temporary . . . this too shall pass." Don’t take minor things too seriously. Accepting things as they are, paves the way for a good trip and good stories when you come home.
• Show unfailing integrity. Keep promises.
• Be a good listener.  Be friendly.  Be a willing and cheerful team member.
• What throws the group off-track? You are used to being a leader. Do NOT take over. Be a follower and a leader. Leave your roles back in the office.
• Try to understand the teachability index: How much am I willing to change? How much am I willing to grow? Be committed to whatever. Do not play the us vs. them card. Be adaptive and go with the flow. Use time management and don't spin cycles. When things change, change with them.
• Understand where people get their energy from. Pull in your introverts. Not everyone is social. Don't blame anyone for going back their room at the end of the day, but make sure that everyone is always invited.
• Get buy-in from the NGO. If your stakeholder isn't bought it, your end recommendation won't be implemented. Ask your NGO team, "Do you feel comfortable implementing this? I want you to be successful. I'm here to help you and what can we do as a team to ensure whatever we come up with will work for you?" Make your host organization feel comfortable.
• Be sure to take in ALL stakeholder feedback at each checkpoint, not just the feedback from those team members who are around most frequently.
• Make a stakeholder communication cadence request up front. (ex. Can we do 1 weekly meeting and phone check point?)
• Over communicate.
• Rotate team leaders and note takers.
• After you have built your relationship verbally with your team member/host organization, you can ask for what you want. Then confirm the timing for which the activity can be done by and thank the person in advance. Restate the agreement in written form after agreeing verbally to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

 On Travel Advice & Safety:

• Don’t forget that you represent your home country and SAP.
• Remember to make copies of your passports/visas.  (I have always kept both color paper copies and color virtual copies)  Know where your passport is at all times. A person without “their papers”, is a person without a country.
• Buy a water bottle from a camping/travel store like REI that contains a water purification system. It's worth the price and could prevent a sour stomach or trip to the doctor. You never know when someone will try to resell you a previously opened bottle of water.
• Find out what organization you are going to be working with and figure out if there is anything you can bring with you from the States that is expensive and sought after locally, but might be inexpensive here and easy to bring with you. Use this as an opportunity to change lives with your service and donations.
• Be careful.  Be alert to the country/city you are in.  If something doesn’t feel safe, it isn’t.   
• Expect the unexpected.
• Be flexible! You have both traveled a lot, but you cannot expect that things will be the same as they are at home.  I know you know that, but you (or the team) can embarrass your hosts when you point out the differences you see. 
• If you are a runner, go running with at least 3 people. NEVER go alone. Start a workout club. Bring workout videos with you.
• Take the biggest man on the team with you for a buddy to go to the store.
• Buy a rubber doorstop and bring it with you. Put the door stop in reverse when you are in your room. If someone tries to get in while you are inside, it will be one additional barrier they have to get through (much better than that dinky chain).
• Keep your hair in a low tight pony tail. If someone grabs your hair, it will hurt a lot less in a pony tail than grabbing chunks of hair from across your head.
• Do not wear flashy clothes or jewelry. Think studs, not diamond hoops.
• Carry very little cash with you. Lock your suitcase when you leave each day with your belongings if there is going to be a cleaning staff coming in. There shouldn't be an issue, but no need to tempt anyone
• Hotel safes can be the least safe place to keep your valuables
• Peepholes can be reversed. Bring a pad of post-it notes and cover the hole daily. If the cleaning staff removes the paper, you have a whole pad ready to go.
• Find out what you should do in the event of a natural disaster. Hey, you never  know.

On Leadership & Development:

• Give your life away to your team back home. Let go & delegate!!
• This is an experiment ground to practice new professional/leadership development. What do you want to change on the inside out? Play w your dreams. Add to the list if things that you really want up work on. What is going to make you a stronger leader?
• Make a business plan while you're there.
• Use your coaching sessions for accountability.
• You may experience reverse culture shock when you return to the States. Take those learnings and share them with your team. Do not lose all that you gained while you were abroad.
• Remember, you are a guest in Brazil and South Africa. She who treats her host with respect shall be treated as an honored guest.
• Mostly… Enjoy yourselves. This is your adventure. Soak it in. 

 

If you have additional advice to share with us, we'd love your feedback. Please leave me a comment or shoot me an email. I look forward to your feedback and adding to this list myself upon my return.

 

Something new every day.

 

(Me, Evander Holyfield (the giraffe - he was missing most of an ear), & Sarah in Sabi Sands South Africa)